You want me to say who I am and all of that?
What girl gives up an opportunity
to talk about herself? Not I. Not today.
I won't bore you with my biography—
just a few highlights from my résumé.
I don't aspire; I'm whom one aspires to.
The most frequently asked question isn't
WWJD? It's what would Pepper LaBeija do?
Really the question should be what hasn't
she done? I've been walking now two decades
and got more grand prizes than all the rest.
I hate to brag, but I'm a one-man parade,
Jehovah in drag, the church in a dress.
Outside these walls I may be irrelevant,
but here I'm the Old and the New Testament.